Serenity is found
in the still-running waters
of June Lake,
gentle ripples
lazily lapping the shore.
~
As I sit
all alone
early morning sun
warming my back,
You bring a gift
to the water’s edge.
~
I know
You are here.
Your grace knows no bounds.
© LuAnn Oburn 2012
The Shadow
Shadow growing in the dark
you creep into my room.
Black, icy tendrils meant to ensnare
pure evil, you loom.
~
If I lie quietly
don’t make a sound,
will you keep moving?
Too late, I’ve been found.
~
When you leave
a piece of me goes too.
I’ve saved the best for me.
You haven’t a clue.
© LuAnn Oburn 2012
This poem is dedicated to all those who have dwelt in the shadow of abuse. With faith and forgiveness, most important the ability to forgive yourself, you can walk out of the shadows, into the sunlight, and have a beautiful life. Blessings!
After a week at our “service bay” home, we were on the road once again to continue our exploration of Oregon. Thankfully before leaving Junction City we were able to enjoy an evening with friends John and Janie. We are heading inland for a time, with our first stop being Crater Lake National Park, where we met up with friends Paul and Nina and their RV buddies Alex and Ellen, a delightful couple. This is one of the true beauties of the RV lifestyle, slow-paced, with opportunities to meet new folks and reconnect with others.
We have settled in the Umpqua National Forest, Diamond Lake Campground and are having one of our first experiences with “boondocking”, goin’ naked, no hookups. We’re not nearly as well equipped as our friends, who both have solar panels on their rigs, Paul and Nina sporting 600 watts and Alex and Ellen a whopping 1000 watts. Paul jokes of suffering from “watt envy” when Alex speaks of his solar power (lol).
Besides a visit to Crater Lake NP, which is a definite must, there is much to do here. An 11-mile paved bike path encircles Diamond Lake, providing fantastic views of the lake, the meadows, and dramatic Mt. Thielsen with her horn-shaped peak. Although we have not done, kayaking would be a great way to explore the lake itself.
The six of us, plus pooch Polly, set out to tackle Mt. Bailey, a strenuous 10-miler to the peak. Mt. Bailey often gets overlooked standing so close to Mt. Thielsen, but she deserved some love too, all 8368 feet of her.
Although we did not summit, 7 miles for me was not bad, and the views were spectacular. I am discovering that months lived at sea level have taken their toll on my hiking at 7000 feet.
Fire season has come to Oregon, along with many other western states so our first views of Crater Lake were rather hazy, with smoke collecting in the caldera. We went back on a clearer day and hiked up to Watchman Tower for some better photos.
While a detailed post of Crater Lake National Park is definitely warranted, I will let one who has written before me speak more on her virtues instead. Our friend Nina has written an excellent piece, which you should check out here.
I will leave you with my initial thoughts as I stood looking down into this magnificent deep blue lake for the first time.
Crater Lake
Long before your birth
a violent volcano stood.
So angry her nature
a catastrophic eruption occurred.
~
When dust and ash settled
You emerged in her wake.
A timeless vision of pure beauty
Sun, snow or rain.
~
Your penetrating sapphire depths
the most intriguing of all.
A refreshing drink of your waters
an elixir for the gods.
~
Ancient winds whisper your secrets
‘tho you hold some in reserve.
Beckoning us closer
with your hypnotic allure.
© LuAnn Oburn 2012
The formation of Crater Lake began roughly 7700 years ago, after the cataclysmic eruption of 12,000-foot Mt. Mazama, perhaps the most massive volcanic explosion in the past 640,000 years. This breathtaking lake and its deep sapphire color is the cleanest body of water in the world, cleaner than over 80% of all water flowing from our taps, I have read. With depths reaching 1943 feet and widths ranging from 4.5 to 6 miles, she is an impressive sight, not to be missed.
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Allow me a few minutes to ramble, if you will, to explain why I write this blog.
A medical scare for my husband about 5 years ago brought forth a sense of urgency in him to get on with life. Being the great adventurer that he is, he wanted to buy an RV and start exploring this beautiful country and others. For Terry, hiking, biking, kayaking, being out in nature, is where he feels most in touch with his higher power.
Enter me, the other half of this couple, the one always driven, the classic workaholic – although I too love nature, exploration, and staying fit. The whole RV thing took me a while to wrap my head around. Not only would I be retiring earlier than many (age 54), but living in a 38 foot home-on-wheels with my husband left me wondering…would it bring us closer or push us apart? I also wanted this to be a time in my life when I slowed way down and got to know me far better. The big question – could I actually do this? Terry was worried whether this driven personality of mine could handle early retirement. Well, the verdict is in. I love it, love Terry more, and feel blessed to be able to get to know LuAnn better.
Immediately following retirement we headed back to Sedona, where we had a home, to visit one of my closest friends Barb, truly my anam cara (soul friend). It seemed the perfect place to begin this journey, alongside Barb. You see, she was critically ill for many years and we all knew her days were numbered. A talented artist and musician, it seemed the more physically ill she became, the more her spirit grew. The lessons she taught those fortunate enough to know her came at an increasingly rapid pace. Her passing about 1.5 years ago left a huge hole in my soul, but memories so rich they will last a lifetime. She taught me to follow my passions as she did up until her death at age 53 – still creating beautiful works of art on her computer with only her big toe, as she had ultimately lost the use of her arms.
Our first year was spent in Mexico and this blog was initially started as a way to keep family and friends informed of our whereabouts. We got the sense that many thought we were being chased throughout Mexico by the drug cartels (lol) but, like others who have ventured SOB, we found a culture rich in family and history. The interior of Mexico and its colonial cities is breath-taking. Unfortunately, border town strife and over-the-top media attention has, for the most part, given Mexico a bad rap.
Our year in Mexico ended; we said via con Dios to a beautiful country; and moved on to explore our native homeland, the US. We have found jaw-dropping beauty along the way and met some wonderful folks that we feel blessed to call friends. What I never imagined, however, was the impact my blogger friends would have on my life. The talent I have uncovered by so many of you leaves me speechless and a bit vulnerable, I might add, as I prepare to enter your world. The message drummed into my head at a very early age of “not good enough” has floated back in a time or two, but I forcefully push it aside. So, without further adieu and to finally stop the rambling, I give you my first attempt at baring my soul through poetry. My blogger friend Penny of the why about this, one of the most inspirational blogs I have come across, gave me the final nudge I needed. Thank you my friend. 🙂 Here it is, short and not always so sweet (think of Sylvia Plath meets Maya Angelou):
Did you know…?
Did you know your troubled past
bled into our lives too?
Little fingers clutching a mother,
tear-stained faces telling the tale.
A mother’s grief reflected in our eyes.
~
Did you know the shame I claimed for my own,
the price a child pays for that trauma?
Was this your shame as well,
a cycle repeated?
~
Did you know I stood at the precipice,
staring into the abyss,
willing the alluring darkness to take me,
pulling back from the edge at the last?
~
Did you know when I learned of your passing
I felt only emptiness,
the darkness calling to me once more?
A repeat performance for my eyes only.
~
Did you know you took my childhood
but I refused to give you more?
I shouted to the heavens,
“I choose happiness, compassion, love,
the wonder in each day…
Life.”
~
We did not speak of the pain,
the loss,
the scars that seemed to never heal.
Nevertheless, I forgave you.
~
Did you know?
© LuAnn Oburn 2012
Learning how to let go or knowing when to let go can be painful or downright frightening, depending on the circumstance. It seems throughout life we do this little letting go dance and as time marches on, the dance steps can become more complicated.
When we were preparing to embark upon our new “nomadic” lifestyle, selling our home and letting go of possessions caused me to catch my breath a time or two. Once I moved beyond some of the initial emotions that this evoked I felt the liberation of unburdening ourselves. Letting go of our “stuff” opened up an entire new world with lots of possibilities. As we began to travel this beautiful country and meet some great people I was reminded of what is truly important, and it became obvious that it wasn’t our “stuff”.
Enjoy the little things for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ~ Robert Brault
I found myself reflecting upon this topic as we traveled back to Ohio earlier this week to visit Terry’s folks. I must confess that I envisioned posting about the countryside here and mom’s beautiful gardens but I’ve forgotten the cable necessary to download photos to our computer so perhaps fate is at work here and I was meant to write this instead.
The touchy subject of aging presented itself and we found mom to be receptive; it seemed she wanted to discuss it. We had pursued this topic with her in the past, only to find she was not ready. Now, at age 86, and with dad 92, it is time. That is not to say that she is fully prepared to deal with all the aspects of aging, such as when to give up driving; how can I continue to live on my own should something happen to dad; how not to burden the children; what if one of us becomes ill and must take care of the other; will I outlive my nest egg. All of these signify letting go of independence. Although this is painful to see parents go through, we are thankful that mom is ready to share some of these worries, to let go just a little, allowing her children to be part of the process.
Our thoughts go out to all of you who are dealing with the challenges of aging parents or have this looming on the horizon. May we all be able to let go of our fears and navigate these waters with patience, love, and grace.
Paint Your Landscape 