I know, I know, I KNOW THIS! Then why is it so easy to slip back into old patterns? We transitioned into this caregiver role knowing the risks, but also seeing the possible rewards, and the rewards have been many. I (with extreme type A personality disorder) thought I had a firm grasp on what I needed to do to balance this new life, that fine line between taking charge and keeping things organized, and running around with my hair on fire! Just where is that darn fire extinguisher? 😉
No one who knew me from my old corporate days would have accused me of being a well-balanced gal. Ok, maybe I fooled those who fleetingly passed me in the hall, a smile on my face, a warm hello. Those who knew me more intimately saw the “get it done at all costs (now)” approach to life, stepping aside when they saw me coming, afraid I was going to combust and consume them in the ensuing flames (lol).
Seems that incorporating meditation and yoga into the retired life works to maintain balance only if you still have a regular practice (who would have thought?). Guess I should have guessed how far off course I had wandered when recently I had to blow the dust off my meditation cushion and the unfurled yoga mat refused to lay flat, wanting to curl back on itself (sounds just like me!). 😉
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the only one doing this crazy dance of running from dawn until dusk, ignoring the aches and pains, pushing at all costs to cross yet another project off the list. As I look to my right, Terry is slumped in the chair right next to me at the end of the day, both of us silently pleading for the other to pour the much-needed glass of wine. So here we sit, two with wanderlust trying to remain stationary for long periods of time. Something was bound to happen sooner or later.
This morning, amidst birdsong, I walked to the end of the drive, gingerly sticking a toe across the property line. Once I had determined there would be no electric shocks, I headed out. Six miles of country road under my feet, a whisper on the breeze got my attention. “Good morning Lulu. Welcome back”.
I had forgotten how living in the moment felt, how important it is to our well-being, and those around us. Now, if I could just get my muse to cease with the 3 a.m. wake-up call! In a later post I will share a poem she pushed me to write, one which she believes freed me to pursue a balanced life once again.
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