Letting Go

Learning how to let go or knowing when to let go can be painful or downright frightening, depending on the circumstance.  It seems throughout life we do this little letting go dance  and as time marches on, the dance steps can become more complicated.

When we were preparing to embark upon our new “nomadic” lifestyle, selling our home and letting go of possessions caused me to catch my breath a time or two.  Once I moved beyond some of the initial emotions that this evoked I felt the liberation of unburdening ourselves.  Letting go of our “stuff” opened up an entire new world with lots of possibilities.  As we began to travel this beautiful country and meet some great people I was reminded of what is truly important, and it became obvious that it wasn’t our “stuff”.

Enjoy the little things for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.  ~  Robert Brault

 I found myself reflecting upon this topic as we traveled back to Ohio earlier this week to visit Terry’s folks.  I must confess that I envisioned posting about the countryside here and mom’s beautiful gardens but I’ve forgotten the cable necessary to download photos to our computer so perhaps fate is at work here and I was meant to write this instead.

The touchy subject of aging presented itself and we found mom to be receptive; it seemed she wanted to discuss it.  We had pursued this topic with her in the past, only to find she was not ready. Now, at age 86, and with dad 92, it is time.  That is not to say that she is fully prepared to deal with all the aspects of aging, such as when to give up driving; how can I continue to live on my own should something happen to dad; how not to burden the children; what if one of us becomes ill and must take care of the other; will I outlive my nest egg.  All of these signify letting go of independence.  Although this is painful to see parents go through, we are thankful that mom is ready to share some of these worries, to let go just a little, allowing her children to be part of the process.

Our thoughts go out to all of you who are dealing with the challenges of aging parents or have this looming on the horizon.  May we all be able to let go of our fears and navigate these waters with patience, love, and grace.

36 thoughts on “Letting Go

  • A very timely subject for me. When I injured my back some years ago and was unable to continue working, my second son and his wife invited me to live with them. My back is better, but I continue to live with them and enjoy it immensely. I am young enough to still have my independence, but it’s comforting to know that if anything happens to change that, they will be right there for me. For some of us oldsters, it’s good to know that our children care enough to help, when it’s needed, and sometimes before it’s urgently needed. I know you will all be prepared to do what you can to help. God bless you.

  • I have faced and dealt with much of what you write about here. All I can say is it’s never easy. But it also seems that we discover depths of caring and compassion we never suspected. Wishing you and yours the best in facing such changes.

    • Thanks! I can’t imagine how it must feel for a parent to worry thats they may become a burden to their children. Mu husband’s mother is struggling with this but I am glad she is finally sharing some of these feelings with us. Mothers are so accustomed to taking care of their children so to have roles reversed must be so traumatic.

    • Thanks Gary! I’m thinking that anyone who is lucky enough to have you or Pam in their lives is truly blessed. We feel fortunate to be part of that lucky group. Hope all is well in Japan 😀

    • Marsha, I think this comment may have been intended for someone else, or perhaps there is a post I have done that has completely slipped my mind 😀

  • Doug and Terry, hope you had a great visit. would like to see you both some time.
    I am lucky to still have my mom. I am not ready to face any more change at this point.
    Dianne Fisher Abbott Niemi

    • Dianne, we are planning to get together with Doug and Donna this upcoming week and are looking forward to catching up. It would be great to all get together at some point down the road. Hope all is well with you. Terry

  • Ow. 😦 What a drag! This reminds me of my grandpa, age over 80, who is now tired of fighting his disease. I have 11 uncles and 4 aunties, and I have 50 cousins, just on my father’s side. It’s my parents who live with y grandparents and take care of them.

    I wish for you and Terry’s good health. Live life to the fullest.

    • We should all be doing that Rommel, no matter our age for we never know how much time we have. You seem to be doing just that, so congratulations!

  • Amen Lu Ann! It is hard to watch fiercely independent parents have to come to terms with having to give up their independence. R’s 91 year old dad, who lives alone and who has a more active social life than we do, will sadly have to deal with this soon.

    • This is probably one of the toughest issues for aging parents, as well as their children. Although we have a long way to go, at least we can now openly discuss the subject. Best to you and your family when the time comes to tackle this difficult topic.

  • LuAnn,
    I have so enjoyed your posts. I am sure that you know what has been going on with Brad and I. It has been a difficult 7 months. Your post reminded me of the care, concern & support my children have given me
    during this most difficult time. I so appreciate them as I am sure Terry’s mother appreciates your support, family is so important, I am finding that out the more life experience I have.
    My mother and father both passed away when I was in my 20’s so I will not have to face what so many boomers are going through, however, I certainly wish that they were still here and I was facing it.
    May God bless you both on your journey of life together.
    Hugs, Geriann

  • Geri, I unfortunately don’t know what has been going on with you both these past 7 months but would love to catch up. You have me concerned for you and I pray that whatever has occurred, you are in a better place. Please let me know. Blessings to you both 🙂

  • Sorry to hear about the challenges you and Terry are facing these days. Late May early June we were back in Illinois settling Al’s parents estate. It was the worst 2 weeks…..very difficult. We’re still recovering and trying to get our ‘act’ together.
    Thanks for sharing. Sending well wishes!!!!!

  • Beautifully presented. So thoughtful. I like the way you shared such intelligent and hopeful words so beautifully here. Lots of good wishes for you and Terry. Thank you for this hearttouching post.

  • Thanks so much for your inspiring words. I sit here still with tears in my eyes after reading “Letting Go” and wondering where the next 5 years will take us. We may be at the crossroads in that timeframe of Letting Go of our RV lifestyle and that is a very painful thought. Bob and I were blessed to have met Nina and Paul (before I knew she had a blog) near Borrego Springs in February. Through Nina’s blog I found yours and hope to meet you one of these days.

    • Thank you for your kind words Kathie. Letting go is a strange concept, isn’t it? On the one hand, it can be liberating, but on the other, so painful. Nina and Paul have been such a gift to us, two very caring and generous souls. So glad we were able to connect with them. Where are you and Bob now? It would be great to connect with both of of you as well.

  • I can relate to this. My mom is 95 years old widowed ever since Dad passed away in ’66. There are a dozen of us siblings trying to get things in order and of course there are also a dozen different ideas. We are managing and I being the 11th feels lucky that my older siblings are taking care of some of the touchy issues.

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