friendship – Page 2 – Paint Your Landscape

Something So Strong

March 14, 2014March 14, 2014LuAnn

I have never participated in a WordPress Daily Prompt before, but at this time of year, I am adrift on a sea of memories. This prompt spoke to me.

On a warm summer day, against a stunning backdrop of shimmering red rocks, I spotted you sitting alone, listening to the music wafting through space. It seemed my soul already knew you and raced to greet yours before my feet could carry me to your side. Everything around me seemed to slow as our eyes met and introductions were made. Deep within I knew ours was to be a lifelong friendship, even if you had yet to make this discovery. I seldom left your side that day and quickly learned that on the surface we seemed to have little in common, mine a life revolving around finance, yours that of talented musician and artist.

No one could have guessed the depths our friendship would reach, something so strong drawing me back time and again to your beautiful melancholy smile. With each visit, familiarity gained momentum. Vulnerability and timidity gave way to raw honesty as we explored our feelings, new discoveries about each other and ourselves unraveling. A piece of my soul that had been lost once again had found its rightful place.

Yours was a life of great struggle Barb, a battle difficult to witness at times. However, even during some of your darker days, which brought forth tears of anger and frustration, I always felt a calm countenance within you, ready to face whatever life had yet in store for you. Some of my most cherished memories will always be those rather prosaic tasks we shared that so many of us take for granted, exercises you coveted as your body began to turn against you. Greeting you in the morning and gently lifting you into your wheelchair, brushing your beautiful blond hair as you silently cried, seeking acceptance of the terrible affliction that had wracked your body, showering you as you struggled with the humiliation of feeling your dignity slip away, and sitting at your feet reading to you when you could no longer turn the pages on your own are intimate moments that have become encapsulated in my heart.

You left us much too soon Barb, long before any of us were ready. There were stories still to be told and lessons for you to teach us, other lives for you to touch. But you knew it was your time and with that same courage with which you faced your illness, you moved into the next life.

On this eve of your passing, I cannot believe three years have slipped by so swiftly. The pain of your absence can still take my breath away. But something so strong as your passion for life amidst your formidable trials has left me with the awareness that any obstacle can be overcome.

As I reflect upon our time together, a myriad of emotions swirl around, moments of profound joy, deep wells of sadness, contemplative stillness, and always the knowledge that we will meet again. Until that time arrives ~ rest in peace my anam cara.

Clearwater’s Chemistry

February 4, 2014LuAnn

Clearwater, a beautiful Florida coastal city, has much to offer and has a chemistry all its own but the chemistry I speak of in this post is that which we humans find with others.

Joyful children delight visitors at cultural center.

We have spent the past ten days in Clearwater being quite the social butterflies, so much more than normal that this little introvert is going to need some alone time to decompress (lol)! Don’t get me wrong, our time spent here catching up with old friends and meeting new ones has been fabulous! It seems that many of Terry’s former high-school friends have settled around the Clearwater area so there has been many a get-together, with good food and drink, thanks to the efforts of high-school chum Norm. Our waistlines have suffered a bit from all this fun but we have been rewarded with many pleasant memories. Good friends Doug and Donna migrated south for a vacation to escape the frigid temps of Ohio and their daughter Kelley joined them, getting a break from the Windy City winter. And we caught up with two couples we shared many laughs with at Amazon.

Terry's high school buds & spouses - Dawn, Rick, Terry, Jim, Doug, Donna, Joyce & Norm — Terry’s high school buds & spouses – Dawn, Rick, Terry, Jim, Doug, Donna, Joyce & Norm

Amazon buddies - Jim, Sharon, Rich, me, and Pat — Amazon buddies – Jim, Sharon, Rich, me, and Pat

For those in the RVing community, there is always a level of excitement at the prospect of meeting someone whose blog you have followed for some time. We were very pleased to have met a couple who have been on my “must meet” list for a long time. As time passed I thought we were going to be two ships passing in the night and I was feeling a bit sad but the stars aligned properly and a brief window of opportunity presented itself. Emails were exchanged; plans made; and we found ourselves heading over to Cortez to have lunch with John and Pam Wright of Oh, The Places They Go. They were as delightful as I knew they would be and we walked away feeling like we were catching up with old friends instead of meeting for the first time. With the hopes of meeting up again near DC later this year and discussion of hiking out west together, the day ended on a perfect note.

John & Terry on the beach at Anna Maria Island

I had a similar experience several days earlier with another blogger friend, someone I have followed for quite a while, a brilliant landscape photographer who took time out of his busy schedule (in Clearwater on assignment) to have coffee. What started as a quick cup of coffee ended 2.5 hours later, having covered quite a bit of territory outside the photography realm, as I promised myself I would not harass him for tips. Ok, since photography is his passion, he generously shared a few tidbits with me, for which I am most grateful. 🙂 For those who haven’t guessed by now, I met up with none other than the talented Rick Braveheart. If you have yet to see his work, I urge you to go here and check it out. I promise you will not be disappointed. As we were saying our goodbyes, I asked for a photo and a quick selfie was taken with Rick’s iPhone. I avoid close-ups of myself at all costs so sadly Rick’s arm just wasn’t long enough for me to proudly display a photo! You are just going to have to trust me that there was a chance meeting. 😉

All of this socializing has got me wondering about why we connect so strongly with some? Common ground is one reason that brings us together initially, which seems to be obvious in the RVing world. Those who have a wanderlust for travel, a love of nature, enjoy the same recreational activities; i.e. hiking, biking, kayaking, photography, seem to gravitate toward one another. But there is that certain something that transcends the similar interests after you meet, the comfortable silence in-between the conversation when you know you have met someone special.

As many of us do, I have a diverse group of bloggers I follow. Writers, artists, photographers, international travelers…the list goes on. What draws us together, satisfying that desire to learn more about the person behind the computer screen, half a world away? Since we will most likely never meet face-to-face, yet we are drawn to one another, I believe that the chemistry between others cannot be explained by science alone. It feels more like a spiritual connection to me, familial, déjà vu, a sense you have known that person before. Experiencing this kind of chemistry with others rejuvenates me and as I get to know them better, whether virtually or in person, I feel I discover another little piece of me. 🙂

Just a few of our fine feathered friends we saw while in Clearwater:

osprey

American oystercatcher

blue heron fishing

bald eagle

Herring gull

Great horned owl

black skimmer

egret

Elusive white pelicans who neither Pam nor I could coax closer to shore

And the Countdown Begins

September 23, 2013LuAnn

In the wee morning hours, I sit shrouded in solitude, my thoughts rousing me from slumber as they are wont to do. This nighttime reverie has not always been my friend, but in this moment of waning darkness, it is a welcome companion taking me on an inward journey. I find myself reflecting upon some hard truths I have learned these past few months, so many amazing family and friends who have blanketed us with love and support during a trying time, and a looking ahead to an ending of sorts.

This week is to be the final week of radiation treatments for hubby, a daily routine that we are both pleased will be ending soon. Terry has breezed through these treatments, to the surprise and pleasure of his doctor and our immense relief, in large part we are told due to Terry’s fitness level, eating habits and positive attitude. No more testing will be required for six weeks, at which time another PSA test will be conducted to see that the radiation has done its job (and we are confident it has).

The diagnosis of recurrent prostate cancer could not have come at a more challenging time, given that we were deep into our prospective caregiver roles for his parents when the news arrived. Challenges seldom seem to be timely companions but bring with them some valuable lessons, growth opportunities, if we open ourselves up to them.

I always knew that Terry and I would handle this part of our journey with a positive attitude but I was not quite prepared for a discovery I made about myself. It seems somewhere along the way I became perfectly imbalanced in my quest to balance caregiving, gardening, canning, further cancer education, nutrition plans, emotional support system for hubby, etc., etc. At times it felt as though I was mired in a rare fugue state, an empty vessel. Leaving very little for oneself is an undeniable risk for those who find themselves in caregiver roles. I thought I had this one wired, knew how to walk this tightrope, done it so many times. Ha!

The love and support sent by so many helped to buoy us and our heartfelt gratitude knows no bounds. The universe knows when to send what we need just when we need it. A perfectly timed email, phone call, inspirational thought for the day, and strategically written blog posts were our allegorical life raft. A few of you played prominently in our healing process, and hopefully I have properly shared my gratitude with each of you.

Beyond all those blessings, we were graced by two angels (in the form of a childhood friend and his spouse) who once again opened their home and hearts to us, the first time taking us in almost six years ago, allowing Terry to heal from his initial prostate surgery.

As Terry’s treatments took us to Columbus, weekdays were spent with these special angels and all that was required of me was a few home-cooked meals (perfect, as cooking is one of my passions). I don’t know too many who would so unselfishly give of themselves in such a way. I cannot express the gratitude and love we feel for these two for a debt we hope to never have to repay in like kind.

As I sit wrapped in earning morning solitude, raindrops gently tapping in perfect synchronicity upon the roof, I am reminded of a quote I came upon recently by Henri Nouwen that so aptly speaks to the personal connections we share with one another:

“When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.”

We have been touched by so many from around the globe. Please know these grateful hearts will not forget such kindness.

A Special Bond

October 17, 2011April 8, 2012LuAnn

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” ~ Henri Nouwen (1932-1996)

Normally I would blog about the little treasures to be found in a city like Columbus, OH, and there are those, but I want to take a different path for this posting. Given where we stayed for a couple of days, I feel compelled to touch upon the beauty of friendship, one that is comfortable, one that is steady.

How many of us have had the great fortune of maintaining a connection with someone from our childhood? Terry has a special friend that he has held onto since junior high, a connection born of the fantasies of adolescent boys, and that has been a constant in his life through many highs and lows for both.

Zundap Bella Motor Scooters - 1960 — Doug & Terry on their Zundap Bella motor scooters ~ circa 1960

A cancer diagnosis for Terry brought us to Columbus four years ago and a friendship that was already long-standing grew so much deeper, a tragedy flowing into a blessing. I was fortunate to be able to share in this friendship and we were both honored to spend a couple of days at Doug and Donna’s home this past weekend. You just know you are going to have a great weekend, one promising the creation of memories, when all you care to do, with all the opportunities presented to you, is spend time together visiting. That is the weekend we had.

Saturday night we shared a great meal, then relaxed around a crackling fire. A nice glass of wine, discussing our travels, everyday happenings, and kids’ lives rounded out the evening. When I hear Donna talk about her daughters and grandsons and see the love and support that they both have for their kids, I wish I had not lost my parents so early in life and had the opportunities for these kinds of interactions.

Sunday was even better, with no one getting out of their “comfy” clothes all day long. Storytelling, the comfort found in moments of silence, and the joy for me of mowing their lawn (I know, sounds a little odd, doesn’t it) added to the day.

Me, refusing to relinquish my "ride" to Terry

Honestly, after I realized where Terry and Doug disappeared to, I should have surrendered my hold on their new lawn mower, although I really do enjoy mowing grass. 50 years later, there they are still enjoying their toys, or more specifically, Doug’s new BMW Z4, just a tad pricier and a lot faster than the Zundap Bella motor scooters. What a beauty she is and the two “old guys” are aging pretty good as well!

At one point in the evening Donna looked at Terry, marveling at how close we had all become, and surmised that perhaps Terry’s journey of cancer treatment and recovery, undertaken at their home four years ago, was meant to result in drawing us closer together. She may indeed be right about that.

How do you thank someone for opening their home and their hearts to you, leaving their imprint along the way? Doug and Donna, two endearing souls, took care of us four years ago, and did the same once again this past weekend. What we have with them is truly a special bond, one that will sustain us throughout our lives.

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” ~ Albert Schweitzer

Friendship in the Valley of the Sun

September 12, 2010April 8, 2012LuAnn

There is nothing more to be prized than true friendship. ~Saint Thomas Aquinas~

September 7th and 8th ~ our last two nights in the states for awhile

We spent the last two nights, before heading south of the border, getting reacquainted with friends Marcia and Carl. When I think of true friends, I think of those who you may lose touch with for a time, but when you come back together or connect on the phone, it is as if time has stood still, and you pick up just where you left off. This is the connection we feel with Marcia and Carl. They generously opened their home to us and they epitomize all that is important in life, a warm, loving, giving spirit and a wonderful sense of humor. All that we could do for them in return was to offer them a good meal at a lovely restaurant before we left. What a great way to spend our last nights in the states!